Thursday, November 01, 2007
I'm truly a child of the '80s but luckily, I seem to have escaped the worst of it - as far as fashion goes. When big bangs, acid-washed jeans and frilly socks worn under high heels were the height of coolness, I was still a scabby-kneed kid in jelly shoes and slap bracelets. I fortunately spent most of my high school years decked out in baggy overalls, flannel shirts and thrift store tees. Although the grunge phase isn't exactly a paradigm of high fashion, it sure beats the bright eyeshadow, shoulder pads and spandex donned by my only slightly-older classmates. Okay, okay - I admit it. I did crimp my hair on occasion. We all have issues!
Anyway, I bring up fabulous 80s fashion because "Teen Witch" was on television the other day. If you've never seen it, well, you're missing out. You know those movies that are so awesomely bad, they're fabulous? Think Flash Gordon, Streets of Fire, Road House, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, Solarbabies and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.' Fess up, you know you were impressed by Ozone and Turbo's mad breakdancing skills! Anyway, I'm referring to high-grade '80s cheese - and Teen Witch definitely falls into that category.
The movie features a nerdy girl named Louise Miller who - on her 16th birthday - discovers she is actually a powerful witch. She uses magic (somehow heightened through a mysterious necklace) to benefit her friends and family, as well as to transform herself into the most popular girl in school, subsequently winning over the hottest guy. I remember seeing this movie for the first time when I was about 12. It cracked me up even then, particularly the musical numbers (Who can forget the hilariousness that is "I Like Boys!") and any scene where Louise is mentored by the dimunitive Madame Serena, better known to audiences as the spiritual medium Tangina in the Poltergeist movies.
Of course, in the end, Louisa learns a valuable lesson about staying true to herself, wah wah wah, the usual.
Anyway, just so you don't think I'm leaving you recipe-less today, here's one for a low-carb, Splenda-sweetened "Wicked Witch" cake. Save it for next Halloween or test it out at an upcoming birthday party.
Back to Teen Witch, I'll leave you with a few of my favorite lines, before blowing your mind with one of the most ridiculous scenes ever filmed: the "rap battle" between Rhet and Polly. As a friend of mine says, this is "the moment rap died."
"Look at how funky he is (sigh)...I'll never be hip."
"I'm hot. And you're not. But if you wanna hang with me I'll give it one shot!"
"No one wants do date you because you are a dog! A dog! A dog!"