Fashion Faux Pas

"I know nothing about football except it's the one time on television that spandex is acceptable." - Steven
"Does he like hot pants?" - Chris

Despite the fact that my idea of "designer" brands basically ranges from Old Navy to Gap, I love me some Project Runway. Now in it's fourth season, the deliciously snippy (pun intended!) reality show rounds out my relatively short list of must-see TV, which includes Lost (I miss you, please come back!), Pushing Daisies, The Office and 30 Rock...And I'm particularly grateful to have it around now that it appears the writers strike will stamp an early season ending on all of our favorite shows.

Anyhoo, I missed last week's episode but finally caught the re-run this weekend - and it was fantastic. No, the designers did not have to create a couture gown out of shrubs or recycled newspaper and aluminum. And on paper, the plot actually sounded boring. Basically, our motley crew of contestants had to work round-the-clock to create an on-air outfit for uber-hottie Tiki Barber, the former New York Giants running back turned Today Show correspondent. However, just the idea of creating menswear stirred fear among these folks. And based on some of the designs I saw later, I'd say they were right to feel very, very afraid. Despite Tim Gunn's advice, many of them just weren't able to "make it work" - and panic, chaos and hilariousness ensued.

I nearly busted a gut watching some of the judges' reactions during the runway show, which featured a level of fugly never before encountered on the show. First off, Ricky's train wreck of an outfit was literally held together with safety pins, while in addition to creating horribly ill-fitting pants, Carmen tried to hide her model's lack of a shirt by draping a piece of blue fabric around his neck. And then there was Sweet P, who crafted a shirt so horrendous, that all I could think was "Gordon Gartrelle." Anyone else know what I'm talking about? During an infamous Cosby Show episode way back in the first season, Denise tried to make a copy of a designer "Gordon Gartrelle" shirt for Theo to wear out on a date. Of course, it turns out to be a hot mess and Theo is humiliated... until his date raves about it, finding it completely original. They just don't make 'em like they used to!

I'll be back later this week with more sugar-free diet tips.

Butt out, fashion police

“So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair…eww… and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.” Cher Horowitz, Clueless

Apparently one of the top legislative priorities in Atlanta these days is to put the skin-is-in look out of fashion next season. No, really.
Councilman C.T. Martin is pushing an amendment to the city’s indecency laws that would outlaw clothing that displays underwear – from boxers and thongs to bra straps and even sports bras. Why? Well, Martin says the popular style of boys in oversized baggy pants sagging below their waists is an “epidemic” that must be stopped.
Look, personally, I can’t stand this trend - which is believed to have started in prisons, where inmates are not allowed to wear belts. It became more mainstream back in the early to mid-90s, when I was in middle school and high school (yes, I’m dating myself here). My opinion then was the same as it is now – there is nothing attractive about watching a guy in low-slung pants try to waddle down the street, baring his boxers to everyone around him. The same goes for girls in hip-huggers and exposed thongs.
However, that doesn’t mean I think the government should be allowed to step in and legislate what people wear.
I’ve got several concerns with this proposal. First, I think it’s heavy-handed and leaves the door open for too much interpretation. For example, what if I’m running in the park and my sports bra strap sticks out from under my tank top? Under the proposed rules, that could technically result in a fine. It seems the Atlanta Council is attempting to criminalize something best handled inside the home or the school.
Second, is this really what our city government is spending its time and resources on? What about healthcare and poverty reform? How about we focus on fixing the education system, reducing crime or patching up the roads? Shouldn't the city's "crack" problem be related to drugs not clothing? Among the numerous issues plaguing Atlanta, baggy pants is nowhere near the top of my list.
Finally, passage of this type of proposal could pave the way for additional restrictions down the road. I figure, if the government starts with a ban on baggy pants, what's to stop them from getting rid of any other undesirable fashion trend? I don't like mullets and acid-washed jeans. Can we ban those? Should body piercings, tattoos and the gothic look also go the way of the dinosaur? Who's to decide what stays and what goes?
When it comes to fashion, it seems each generation has found ways to push the envelope. Ever since the 1960s, the age of miniskirts and boys with long hair, there has been debate over the constitutionality of dress codes and whether they violate the right to freedom of expression. Eventually, this trend will fade and a new fad will irk politicians and parents. So please leave dress code regulations off city government agendas.
On a somewhat similar note, here is a clip featuring guys who might be pushing the boundaries of fashion taste. Instead of baggy pants, though, they're rocking the Daisy Duke-style shorts. Enjoy!

Now that's some recycled fashion!

I'm no fashionista - not by any means. Half of my wardrobe is from Target, after all. But I have to admit, I'm a huge fan of Bravo's Project Runway. For one, the designers and judges can be ridiculously catty - which is a hoot to watch. But more important, I enjoy watching how the contestants pull together garments (or not pull together garments, in some cases) in a short time-frame with often the strangest of material supplies. Plus, I just love me some Tim Gunn.
Along those lines, one of my favorite episodes was the recycling challenge from Season 3. The designers literally had to dig around at a Newark-based Waste Management facility to find recycled materials (think newspapers, bottles, cans) and then create a runway garment out of them. Holy Awesome Episode, Batman!
Needless to say, I was thrilled when I saw this dress on-line. TVgasm, a Web site dedicated to recapping television shows, hosted a challenge last year - with the grand prize being a trip to the Project Runway Fashion Show during New York Fashion Week. Inspired by the recycling challenge, the TVgasm contest winner (simply named OD-TV) crafted a dress out of garbage bags and hundreds of empty Splenda packets.
No 'auf wiedersehen moment' for this "sweet" designer.

Hammertoes and pump bumps

I know this is a little off-topic in terms of sugar-free dieting, but I told you this blog would meander on occasion.
This particular entry is a rant about one of my dislikes: high heels. There's no way you'll ever catch me walking more than five feet in narrow, pointy-toed boots or strappy sandals with three-inch heels. And I hate it when gal pals throw a pair of those on and then hobble along metropolitan streets in pain - all in the name of fashion. Puleez. Give me a pair of flip-flops any day.
Anyway, this graphic actually demonstrates how high heels can be bad for the body. From increased knee joint pressure to hammertoes, ankle problems to bunions, high heels do cause some problems for the person wearing them. Check out the American Orthopaedic Foot & Ankle Society Web site for more information.